I'm no expert when it comes to matters of the heart, but i think the hardest part of truly being in love is fear every other reason comes after. Fear holds you back from being in love , to feeling , to giving your all to the other person. I think the biggest fear that i have is being rejected , not being rejected in the way someone will turn u down if u ask them out on a date, but the rejection that comes when you are in a relationship and the other person suddenly gets bored of you, while you are there thinking everything is ok, your better half is out there thinking that they want to be out and looks for the perfect time to do so, I've been there, it has happened to me already so i know . I just don't want it to happen again... thats the fear i have,i mean there are more lots more that can go wrong in love but i rather focus on wat can go right...i know within my self i wont have to go through this, but of course i'm no superman so the fear will be there waiting to feed to get bigger, i guess its up to me to starve it at all costs and focus on the positive, i don't want to go back to the days when i would walk around not caring if Sunday falls on Monday , i want to be a happier person.
FEAR
My Prayer when the lady upstrs pisses me off
Lord grant me the strength not to kick my superiors ass
Guide my words so i wont cuss her up
Steady my thoughts so that i may not think about pushing her down the stairs
Lord show her the way to the door so that she may walk out my office
I ask this of you lord so that i may not end up in jail
Amen
Thought
A thought occurred to me today -well just now- why are humans the only animals who don't know that life is to be enjoyed? Instead we use our time here for what?- to chase money and material possessions, to make our decisions based on what other people will think... hmmm, well I'm tired of living this way, I'm sick of living my life to please other people , people who don't know me, people who would just stop and stare at you and pass judgment... I'm tired . I wanna be free of this mentality , i want to be happy for me , I'm going to make myself happy by doing what makes me happy regardless of what the rest of humanity may think...if i wanna shave my head into a Mohawk- i will cause it makes me happy- so to everyone else fuck off!!
Friday has teamed up with Wednesday
Yes it has happened my hate for Wednesday has pushed it over the edge and it has convinced Friday to join its cause to make my day suck...and well i think they are succeeding. Let me give you a run down of my day so far.... I'll do it in point form to make it more interesting ..lol..
- Woke up late this morning for some reason since i went to sleep early last night
- In the rush to get out of the house i left my cell phone home
- Got to work barely on time
- I have on a sneaker that has almost tripped me 5 yes count it 5 times
- Got my paycheque, went to cash it at the bank got rejected
- I waited almost an hour in the line
- Popped into a store to get something for my puppy almost broke a vase but i caught it
- Bought a teddy for my puppy, didnt have cash to pay for it
- Thank god i had my card
- Went for a taxi to go back to work, none of the cars were heading in that direction
- I had to drop short and walk the rest of the way
- When i got out of the car the teddy fell out and the car ran over it
- It wasn't hurt
- Got back to work a co worker said he'll take me POS to see if i will get it changed, i did
- On the way back we almost got into an accident, no one was hurt just shaken
- Got back here for lunch... i left that home
- thats all so far, the day is young
I know that pisses me off too!!!
I have been real busy with work and life in general, i have alot to post but for now here's a list of random stuff that pisses me off...
1.Dogs that like to bark, especially the ones that choose to be silent all day then bark at night.. for god's sake ur a dog not an owl.
2. People who are grumpy: ppl that are grumpy make me wanna hit them over the head with a shovel, then dig a hole with the same shovel and bury them with said shovel
3. Chocolate from Thailand or Indonesia or wherever that is currently flooding our supermarket shelves... it doesn't taste anything close to chocolate, I'll not eat it even if it was free and when i see someone eating it see above.
4.People who sign on to MSN messenger, then leave something like " i'm away from the pc" or " i'm not home right now" for frogs flippin sake, if you are not at home or not at ur pc sign out of MSN .
5. People that drive and read the newspaper at the same time... thats some serious fun there, playing with other ppl's lives
6. Ladies that wear waaaaayyy too much make up, i'm talking about the ones that wear so much foundation that u can scrape it off and use it to build a house... referred to as clown face ppl
7. Bmobile, they always fail me when i need to make an important call..always..
8. Stray cats that walk thru my yard like they own the place, but are too fast when i try to run and catch them
9. Patrick manning..need i say more?
10. Wednesdays...u know y
Pour
Waiting to be filled with the wine of emotion
The salty taste of sadness
The fruity blend of joy
The bitter caress of hate
Fill me up, let it over flow
I sit here waiting..., hoping for the wine to be poured
Silently waiting...
Valentine
My mind can't help but take flight
It zooms off far away into a place
Where i can stand and stare at your beautiful face
There i can fall into the warmth of your smile
Or feel your breath on my skin, that drives me wild
There i can drown in the sound of your voice
Or touch your lips, i have no choice
I've fallen in love...smile after smile
I promise you I'll be there mile after mile
To hold your hand, to keep your near
To chase away all your fear
I've fallen in love, i won't get up
Cause you're my baby, you're my pup
I love you hunny, this is true
I just wanted to say Happy Valentines to you