CONFUSED

People tend to confuse me, as each day passes more and more. Its either I'm getting stupid or people are getting dumber as each day passes... i pray to god that its the latter.

So my ex girlfriend and i are on speaking terms now, at first when we broke up communication between us was nil but now its been like a month now and we chat online but thats about it. I'm glad that she's moving on with her life and i with mines. Speaking of life that big problem i had well its still there, its not solved either but it makes no sense of me to stop my entire life just to deal with that problem. So as the days move along hopefully that big problem will gradually shrink in size and become smaller and smaller until finally one day poof it'll disappear ( be solved).

Another thing is last night i was chatting to one my friends online ( a girl) when out of the blue she asked me if i still like her the way a bf would like a gf.... wait i jumped the gun there huh..lol well this girl is the one that got away, i really liked her but screwed up my chances with her out on our "first date" , i was so nervous that i hardly spoke or did anything actually , i was just there, i know i so totally sucked, her beauty, her smile just being around her made butterflies swarm in my stomach.... then at the end of the date she text me and said she doesnt like em anymore...bummer... but who could blame her, looking back on it i wouldn't like me either..lol...but alas its in the past what's done is done, we are still friends and i still care for her alot but more on a friend level ( only because she has a bf now, if she didn't hmm i would probably be secretly in love, but I'm not a relationship wrecker) and shes a great friend so i don't know where on earth that question came from, its not like i flirting with her or anything i was just chatting normal stuff u know . More on this story pending further investigations

Sadness

Sadness beats within me, filling my soul with tears

Pretty soon I’ll drown

Drowning within myself, lost to those around me

Lost to myself

I swim beating against the hurt, against the betrayal

I can’t reach the surface

Slowly I sink down into the clear water of my tears

Silently I scream, no sound escapes.

I’m trapped.

A hollow heart

I feel dead inside like the light within me has been extinguished, i don't have the will that i once carried, the care within my soul is gone, friends? don't need them, family? don't want them, lover? don't have them.

I feel alone, alone and angry.No one to turn to, no where to hide, just lost in a fog that i can't find my way through.

I once was a happy boy, full of life, full of energy, full of hope, but then something happened, something i know not of, but it happened and it sucked all my life out of me, now I'm just a shell of my former self. Walking alone in this world , i feel sick inside, feel like screaming , screaming i hear all the time , i close my eyes and begin to cry is it tears of sadness?, tears of anger? tears of joy.....?

My Excuse

I haven't been posting as i would have liked because some serious messed up crap has been happening in my life...serious...much more serious than i could have ever imagined or think i can handle alone but i'm getting there, trying to sort this damn mess out.

New One

I haven't been posting as i would have liked because some serious messed up crap has been happening in my life...serious...much more serious than i could have ever imagined or think i can handle alone but I'm getting there, trying to sort this damn mess out.

Stand Still, Look Pretty

I recently came across this CD while browsing in my local music shop, and wow is all i could say, this is definitely a gem. Although not well known the wreckers are a band compromised of Michelle Branch and her longtime friend and backing vocalist Jessica Harp, Michelle's pop rock sound is sort of second key in this album, the music is a cross between country, pop and some classical styles.. its unique to say the least. I personally think that its has achieved what most bands these days pay little attention to and thats lyrical content, the songs are Happy, Sad, Joyful and even makes you remember someone (if you loved and lost of course) in your past, i don't see why this album wasn't bigger in sales. It appeals to the mellow side of people. I love each song and currently have it spinning on my CD player after a couple listens the words are easy to learn. Listed below are the tracks

1. "Leave the Pieces" (Billy Austin, Jennifer Hanson) – 3:31
2. "Way Back Home" (Michelle Branch, Jessica Harp) – 3:18
3. "The Good Kind" (Branch, Harp) – 3:45
4. "Tennessee" (Harp) – 4:21
5. "My, Oh My" (Branch, Harp, Wayne Kirkpatrick, Josh Leo) – 3:30
6. "Stand Still, Look Pretty" (Branch, Harp) – 2:46
7. "Cigarettes" (Harp) – 3:18
8. "Hard to Love You" (Branch, John Leventhal) – 3:52
9. "Lay Me Down" (Branch, Harp, Greg Wells) – 3:35
10. "One More Girl" (Patty Griffin) – 5:18
11. "Rain" (Branch) – 4:05
12. "Crazy People" (Branch, Harp) – 3:09
13. "Leave the Pieces" (pop edit) ¹
14. "Tennessee" (live) ²

You can read more about the band and even listen to the album before purchasing it here