I am in charge of my own happiness.
I will make my own destiny.
I will fail at times but failure makes success sweeter.
I will never stop caring for me.
I will succeed.
I will
That’s it right there I will
Not maybe I will
Not I think I will
Just plain and simple
I will
My will
My strength
My life
My journey
As i stand here ,the good within me glowing
I'm stripped naked, every part of my soul showing
The human, the animal
The dark and the pure
The saint, the joker, the fool and the whore
am i not a child of god
One born of this earth
Do i not have a mother
who has given me birth
I sit in silence and pray
Am i not allowed to seek god out in my way?
Who shall speak and read me my rights
Who will cover my eyes and show me night
Who shall bind my hands, and cut off my tongue
Push me in the square where i belong
Who with their weapons, their force and their lies
Who with their false hope and their alibis
you?
With words of ignorance
with words of hate
with your darken light,and your blind faith
You
with the uneducated mind...
you will not be given any of my time
My battleline is drawn, its a circle you see
It prevents your hate from getting to me
so keep your acid tongue and swallow you spit
Cause see me here I'll never quit
I'll rise like the Phoenix over and over again
You are the person i no longer call friend
For you are not god, and you cannot judge
This is my stance and i will never budge.
He sits atop the midnight mountain, looking out at the grass
Lonely and bleeding this wolf hides from his past
His howls and cries they echo from atop to the moorland shore
He's wounded, bruised and battered crouching on the floor
Alone he lies there faintly breathing, don't know how long he'll last
A scared and confused wolf, running from his past.
The clouds they gather above him, blocking out the moon
His only hope for redemption, will all be gone soon
The angry rain upon him, adding to the pain
A lonely wolf that's wounded will never be the same
His moans of anger and anguish, is drowned out by the sound of the tiny raindrops falling
Hitting the cold hard ground
He gives into his destiny, letting go of all the shame.
A lonely wolf unmoving will never be here again.
Are you a liar , a preacher, a reality teacher
A hater, a crier, a happiness buyer
A healer, a stealer , a confidence dealer
A thriller, sum filler, a crazed out of your mind killer
Are you a screamer, a lemur, a wide eyed dreamer
A lecher, a creature, a hands on the clock feature
A panther a lion , an enigma made of iron
A tear drop, a sly grin
someone who thinks only losers win
What are you?....
I sit on the hill top chanting
The wind caresses my face like a lover of a past life
Drawing me into her embrace
Like a crow drawn to a shiny object
I give in
The sky darkens, my lover sighs
For the sun has died
The sands of time sweeps around us
Lifting us upon the highest star
Moving us away from the dark shadows below
Away from the soothsayers
In an eternal dance we sway
Cosmically stepping across the river of stars
Keeping close, unwavering
in our love.....
Can i say sorry to you..for being so unforgiving
It wasn't your fault, innocence lost
Can i say forgive me for the selfish acts
Of unkindness, and physical pain
For hurtful words uttered
repeated, like a mantra
to you....
Can i ask you for a hug
A real one...with love
Its okay to cry....
Tears you hold back
Weep them now....
Silently or deafen the world
Its okay....
Can i cover your wounds
your scars...
With my own skin
I'll protect you now, from the hurt
The pain...
We will share them together...
As one....
Can i whisper words of comfort to you
To chase away your fears, to soothe your heart
Its okay to trust now
to love.....
you can come out to play
in the rain, in the sun
Its okay to laugh....
I never felt a love
Like this before
It's a love like no other
Something I have always hoped for
A love with friendship
Humour and heart
A bond so strong
It would never part
A love that makes you smile
From ear to ear
A love that is joyful
Without any fear
A love that is beautiful
From the inside out
A love with no tears,
Pain, or doubt
A love with soul
So tender and true
A love that I have found
Only in you...
Your eyes won't let my thoughts go back to sleep.
Your words draw me across 2000 miles.
I don't know you at all, and yet I know
You better than my friends of many years.
The days I spent with you are like a tape
I play, rewind, play, rewind, and play.
Whenever I remember something new,
I feel as though you touched me on the cheek.
I miss you like the grass awaits the wind,
Or as the morning sky awaits the sun.
The stillness beats within me
Every time you are close
Like a star glowing in the night ever so softly
it lights me up from within
I breathe
Breathing in the scent of you close to me
The silence between us writes a thousand stories
Before my eyes...
The stillness of your lips close to mines
Trembling , unsure
The beauty of the moment dawns on me
Like cold raindrops against my warm skin
It steals my breath and draws me in closer...
Pulling me into you, submerging me slowly
Into the stillness of us.....
I want to scream till i spew blood from my mouth
So loud that i will deafen the world around me
That all the peoples will know that i'm broken
I will climb the tallest building and scream.....
Scream out your betrayal, until my vocal chords collapse
The pain will become non existent
The insanity that grows within my mind
Frightens me....
Like ink in a glass of water, it spreads throughout my soul
Each Pulse i feel cuts deeper into my heart
Screaming the betrayal over...and ..over
My partial heart broken.....
Can you feel the beat?
Feel it beat within me...
The rhythm drives me mad
For i know my heart is there
Beating....Feeling....
Feeling the pain unleashed upon it
Pulsating the pain throughout my veins
Engulfing me
Painful beats of betrayal.....
Let the words come to me, let them flow
Let them show me where my writing may go..
I thought i lost it, but now its here
The inspiration that chased away all my fear
The words i write come not from my mind
They do not exist in this place or time
It flows through me like water so clear
I breathe it in, expression fills the air
Surround me, fill me ,set me free
This is what writing does for me.....
I walk invisible to those around me
Silently i thread on the ground
Cautiously looking around..to you i am not there
Screams from a past life haunt me
Echoing through my bones, dark clouds cover me
Struggle.....
I fight no longer bounded by pain
I break free...
Chains of darkness no longer had a hold on me.....
A ray of pure light shines through....
Warm against my face.....
Hope for life.....
Breathe....acceptance.....
Light flows through my veins, throughout my being
My body floats upwards...so light
Smiling i am free at last....
Lost at sea, i cry for help
Inside i die slowly but surely
I fade away into the background
No one misses me
I'm nothing a nobody
Noticed by no one
Sorrow haunts me, sorrow of a past life
Of a past time .....
I weep for myself and my broken heart
I weep for you and your misguided lust
I love you.....words i never say
But i said it to u and i still mean it....
In every way...
But hearing the words that came from his lips
Slashed me across my stitched up heart
Bleeding my soul out, ounce by ounce
I am betrayed, I am hurt
But i promise you that this will work
I'll hold the hurt within in me, I'll keep it still
Drown it in the promises in your eyes
Fill me up until, i myself is slowly killed....
I want to bring you across this ocean
The ocean of sadness on which u float
Swim with you, bring you near
Show you that i really do still care....
I bow my head and build my walls
Waiting for the bricks to be placed
Higher and Higher
Entrapping me, there in the place i stand
Close around me
Made out of ice and hate
Out of my insecurities, my lack of faith
i sit there waiting silently
Looking up at the sky hoping
Hoping for my one sweet reprise
The rain
It comes soon, i hear the wind whisper
So i wait
And then the drops
Tiny drops that will ease my burden
They pour over me, filling up the room i built
Higher and higher the water rise
Pouring over me
Soon very soon i will be free
and the water rises over me
Over my head
and i feel peace
finally...
Pain crashes against my heart
Constantly like waves on a ocean never ending
Pounding against it like a drum, so loud
So deafening
I can't feel anymore, I'm lost in an eternal darkness
Forsaken by others, given up on...even by myself
No where to run, no where to hide these thoughts that cross my mind
Silently i smile to cover the pain of a bleeding heart
A heart that yearns to feel love, to be loved...
I fall into a whirlpool of screams and anguish, grasping at nothing
Nothing to hold on to..nothing
So full of an endless nothing
Suffocating, stifling in this cold darkness
Covered lost forever
Lost....gone..forever
Not missed...nor loved...
Gone....
Disappeared into an endless darkness
No sound...no air
Just velvet darkness....
I stopped my heart, it causes pain
But i yearn to feel again
My soul is dark, my mind blank
My breath cold as ice
I dwell in the past
It haunts me, like a ghost of a forgotten memory
It stalks me in the day
and tortures me at night
I only feel pain
I fall to my knees, on the cold earth
Defeated
Unknown to the outside world
I want to fade away, disappear into the night
Like a dream lost in time...
Beat Heart Beat
Make me crawl on my knees, hear me beg, hear me plead
And yet you beat making me feel
Feeling the pain of love and life
Feeling the joy of sorrow and strife
Beat Heart Beat
Take my mind on a journey, carry it away
Take it to a place where i long to stay
Make me happy, make me smile
Then stop beating for a while
Beat heart Beat
Just for a minute more
Just until i reach the open door
Wake heart wake
Don't leave me here
Here where i can't see
Here where the darkness grows within me
The wind whispers, silently singing to me
I walk through, brave
The darkness stands still around me
I breathe, cold air filling my lungs
Refreshing, stifling
I hunger for more, this feeling of life
I stand, I listen
My eyes closed, i wait for the
Wind to sing to me
To show me songs of a million lives
To etch in my soul the words of a thousand tongues
Slowly i sink into the darkness
The cold musical darkness of my life
Tears well up inside my soul
But i do not cry
They float slowly up to the windows
Looking out at you, waiting- emotions in hand
but you're so cold, if freezes them
it has frozen me
Unmoving i stand in front of u
Waiting for the warmth, that was you
I dissolve back to a time when, the warmth was the heat between us
Standing there of what was
Tears melt
They escape thru the windows
I stand broken there once again
ALONE