How was this wknd?

Lets say that i had a big fight with the GF, ugggh what was it about, her having a guy friend ..its a complicated story of which i have no intention of untangling right now.But trust, trust, trust..it all comes down to that . I HAVE to learn to TRUST her, it will be difficult to let myself be so vulnerable but if I am to grow as an individual i must do this, however if it turns out that i end up getting hurt.....lesson learnt....we made up after a flurry of words came gushing out of each of our mouths. If its resolved why do i still feel so uneasy? I am so scared of being played for a fool again, but i can't be the frightened little boy all the time, i have to take chances as much as possible its a new year and i want to feel as if i am living my life and not just doing the normal routine of work, home, work, home, work...bleh ....thinking about it I feel as if I'm I'm just wasting my life being a worker bee...but i am too scared to quit my job, migrate to some foreign country and live my life exploring the world. So for now i will get my thrills throwing rocks at jep nests and the occasional jumping from high places. 2009...sigh ...i so have to get myself together.