Thanks

I have to work throughout this carnival holiday, everyday and yes i could be angry and bitch about it, but i wont cause, to be honest i don't big up on carnival too much, it really doesn't interest me ... so que sara sara... I finally feel as if I'm alive, like I'm actually living and enjoying my life, which is great, haven't felt this way in a longtime and i owe it all to , well you know who you are ... and i thank you for showing me the things that i have blinded myself to, what you may ask... thanks for showing me thats its okay to be hurt, thanks for showing me that its okay to be love, but most of all thank you for your friendship. So i guess working through the carnival days wont suck cause i too happy to let anything get me down.

Dumbass

Somethings in this world just don't make sense, like why on earth would police officers arrest an old lady in handcuffs, for allegedly "stealing" ochroes that she planted, and then have no proof to present to the judge...not even a picture of the ochroes, well good for you police of Trinidad, one old lady less on the streets robing, killing and torturing people....JACKASSES... where are these same police officers when the bigger criminals are running amok? I guess they probably in the station sleeping or that is not as important as someone stealing ochroes .

The cycle of time

For every second that passes, a minute dies
For every minute that dies a hour breaths its final breath
For every hour that closes it's eyes, the day gets on step closer to the past
For every day that becomes extinct
I get one step closer to you

Thoughts of you

Thoughts of you enter my mind...
Like water it immerses me, pulling me into it
Do i fight it or do i give in?
Do I drown in the image of your smile?
In the glow of your eyes...
Shall I be engulfed by the scent of your perfume, let it swirl around me
Lifting me off the ground?

These thoughts of you that enter my mind....
They stay there counting time
The seconds, the minutes, the hours, the days
Till you are here next to me
feeding the thoughts that enter my mind......

Writer's Block

I feel as if i have hit a creative block, like nothing i do or nothing i see inspires me.... hmmm i cant even write poetry, make photoshop art, write stories, nothing at all...I'm afraid for some reason i have become normal...and i think i know the reason why.... it's Math... nothing good will ever come from it i say...Seriously though this happens to me sometimes, usually when my mind has become lazy, or should i say i have become lazy and unable to expose my senses to stimulus , so basically i should get myself away from the P.C and go outside and look at the clouds better yet climb on the roof and look at the stars, that should help or if I'm lucky we can get some rain, so i could go stand in it and draw inspiration from its tiny drops hitting my skin, causing vibrations of song that will reverberate into my soul and be the sparks that ignite my imagination... this weekend was yet another awesome one, went to see Mad Money with a very special friend of mines, the movie was ok , but being in the company of said friend was awesome.... Yesterday we had a party home and i had a blast of a time we partied till 3 am , my legs and feet hurt form all the dancing, my cousins tried to get me drunk and they succeeded to a point cause i never in my life had soo much rum in one night, my head was light and my balance was off and i was loud... i guess i was drunk..lol.. Tomorrow is work and i have this huge project that I'm working on which may need me to work through carnival , but i hope that i can accomplish it before Friday so that i can get some days off for Carnival, not that i like carnival or anything, i used to but for some reason it doesn't appeal to me anymore, i guess I'll have to find something to do on those days.

My Advice

My advice to you is do not, i repeat do eat a bag of Tortillas and drink a bottle of Viva water and go to bed.... you will get nightmares, like i did last night, it was horrible, i got up sweating and scared . I dreamt that it was like 50 years in the future and the world was in ruins, mankind was reduced to nothing more than a past civilization, only a few people remained they called themselves the bounties for they were the only ones that survive in that time.... the rest of humanity is either dead or walking zombies a product of two diseases merging together in animals , then to be transferred to humans, they turn people into man eating, horribly disfigured zombies.... I'm not referring to slow hop and drop zombies but fast, cunning, strong zombies. Two bounties climb to the top of a ruined building beneath them hordes of zombies gather around brought there by their scent. They stand there hopeless, thinking that its only a matter of time till they are amongst the zombies below hungering for flesh, the man turns to the girl and whispers something to her , she takes out a small cube from her pocket lay it on the floor , it begins to glow, charging up from the light of the sun... from it a virtual screen appears , the girl approaches and feverishly beings to touch buttons, sending messages to an unknown source.... the sun is setting she doesn't have much time, pretty soon the cube stops glowing and they are plunged into pitch darkness...all you can hear is the screaming of yet another bounty being eaten... flash back 50yrs in the past I'm in my room with a couple friends doing some math then the fax machine starts beeping off and out comes a message ....hmm i don't think i have time to write out my whole dream... i dream in movie vision, it has a beginning middle and an end, long story short my friends and i had to warn humanity of this threat but no one would believe us until it starts happing one by one people start getting infected , turning into zombies killing other ppl alot of my family and friends die and a couple of them turn into zombies that i had to kill, at the end of the dream i was running for my life cause it had become air borne .... thats when i got up and went to work ..lol.. Zombies and I don't mix

A dream

I didn't write about the most awesome weekend ever ..... well it wasn't all that awesome but to me it was. Saturday i actually went to the library and did some studying with my cousin it went rather well except for the fact that for the last hour we just talked and laughed to the point that i really thought the librarians were going to ask us to leave but luckily they didn't, later on in the afternoon i met a friend to go hang out, it was really great i cant remember the last time i had soo much fun, and i got to drink a Rituals chiller something i haven't had in a long time mainly due to the fact their price went from 20.00 to 22.00 overnight , it was a great night. Then Sunday my family had Tristan's 6 days celebration which i plan to post some pics of, however i may not be able to explain the ceremony that occurred, but i'll try... the for the rest of the day we partied , i couldn't party though cause i rammed my foot up against a step and sprained all of my toes , who would have thought that i was walking with such force, i couldn't walk or stand on it but after i got it rubbed it felt much better although i had to walk hop and drop , so i made it into a gangster walk, i don't think i pulled it off to well..lol.. and the best thing is that i get to repeat the same thing is weekend cause we have a 12 days celebration too ..lol.. Trinis celebrate everything

Aughhhh Wednesday.....

Although Monday is usually the most hated day of the week, i prefer to hate Wednesday, why you ask...cause the radio station chooses to play crap on that day.. its called way back Wednesdays and on that day songs my parents "rocked" out to is constantly being spun on the airwaves, so therefore i have to keep switching between the million and one station we have here in Trinidad and nothing seems to whet my appetite ...so i hardly get any work done, why don't i play a CD you ask...cause i don't wanna..lol.. Anyways enough hating on this day, I'll live through it, i always do .

Tristan is getting bigger everyday, its seems that breast milk really does make kids get bigger and stronger, who would have thunk, today he's on his first visit to the clinic to get a check up, i hope all goes well, not that I'm worried or anything. Picked up the Express this morning and read an article of a pregnant woman being hit in the stomach by a group of school boys and is now in the hospital fighting for the life of her unborn child, it just proves to me that we live in a mad society and that sure enough god will rain his wrath upon us all, and peter will pay for paul and paul will pay for all, what kind of society have we become? , so much violence and hate , it seems that no one is safe and the top heads don't even care enough to do anything, once their pockets full, and their families are safe ( due to the fact that most of them are not in this country or have special ops taking them to the mall and back) they don't care about anyone else and we as a people like it so, if we really wanted to send a message we should abandon carnival this year and show the world that we are not happy with what's happening in our country, but telling a Trini that is like taking a gun and shooting them through their head, instead we opt for subtle demonstrations of our unhappiness, like driving with out headlights on...what did that accomplish? just us looking like a bunch of idiots driving in the day with headlights on...no one in authority took notice, or we try to organize a nationwide shut down of businesses, how did that turn out ....alot of businesses remained open cause employers greed are higher than their concern for safety, so we like it so , we take it so...anyways enough of my ramblings on what is happening in this once safe country, everyone must make the decision kill or be killed, we have to live like animals... just that if we kill a bandit who tried to rob or rape a family member, the bandit is the one with more rights than us and we are usually the one that goes on trial for manslaughter .... that makes me think of this police service but I'll leave that for another post.

My working shoes is dead, the sole is slowly coming apart and i noticed it this morning , so right now i have on a black converse with my office clothes, i really don't think its looking awful but thats my opinion to some people i may be committing a great fashion travesty, not that i would care anyways, i feel like crap today cause my shirt is all crumpled , i have on these sneakers, and i just ate my lunch as my breakfast ... so far this day sucks but will make the most of it , i better get back to work .....

This not a love poem

I'm not a romantic kinda guy
But thinking of you makes me sigh
I can see your smile and your face
And you take me away to another place

A car, a boat, a plane , a train
None of it can take me there
Only the whisper of your name
Though you remain just a voice to me
In my special place is where we will be

To hold your hand and touch you skin
Just writing these words makes me grin
So I'm not a romantic kind of guy
Has reading this poem made u sigh....

A new Vision

You have fallen off the boat of life,
The boat where you and your friends play
Where you and your family stay
Where i stand
I reach for you but i missed your hand
Now you are there, in the dark sea of hate and envy
Where water swirls and pulls
There waves crash upon you
Embracing to keep you within them

Set your mind free, let your body float on this endless sea
Let the love of your family be your life jacket
Let the joy of your friends be your water
Let the hope of tomorrow be the light that u seek
To lead you from this tortured sea
Let the memories of happy times be the food you eat
Let the hands of god be the shore that you wash upon
His love be the island that you dwell on
There you will find happiness
And a new vision......

Tristan is finally awake (yay!!) and this is the look that he gave me when i told him i'm his mamoo.... lol

Here's TRISTAN

This is my little nephew Tristan, he's sooooooo cute ...it's freaking AWESOME!!!!!!

The Phone

I just realized something people in Trinidad have no phone etiquette, i work in an environment where I'm constantly handling customers queries and enquires over the phone and most of the times when someone calls me they are like..."hold on" and proceed to shout something to someone else on the other end or would be holding a conversation on their end while I'm relaying my info causing them to constantly ask me to repeat myself... i have hung up a couple times on people like this they would call back all irate but i would then inform them that our phone system is giving trouble and thats why their call was dropped it makes them feel better and i feel better knowing that i just hung up on them..lol.. i real wicked..i wonder if TSTT does this to people?
Today was another day without Internet at work, so work was slow and to top that off the water was cut off for a couple hours, so i couldn't use the bathroom, luckily one of my mutant powers is to keep up pee for a long time ( dunno if that's healthy though) Kisha called me today, told me that my nephew will call me mamoo, which brought a smile to my face, i love hearing from my friends, she wants me to do some art on a couple pics of hers, i didn't know anyone thought my photo shopping skills was good and she's willing to pay...OMG.. i might actually make some money doing something i love, but then again i may screw it up, but I'll just do what i always do with my pics go on instinct, maybe if i get her permission I'll post it up here when I'm done.
Tonite i feel kinda bleh, i think its the anxiousness in me to see my new nephew, Friday can't seem to come fast enough, I did math in work today and sang the "I LOVE MATH SONG" its a song i made up to convince myself that i love math, that way i could actually look forward to studying it, my cousin volunteered to tutor me , as well as another friend of mine... i need all the help i can get... Its late now i better go to be another day at work tomorrow.

Lost u

You are not the person I once Knew
What happened to me....? What happened to you?!
Your eyes are dark, they hide your soul
The words that fall from your mouth are no longer whole
They shatter on the floor, into sharp pieces
That cut and slash me, leaving marks upon my body

The secrets that were once told now lay unraveled at your feet
Like an old cassette reeled out by your rage
Your look at me, the light is gone...
What happened to you? .... What happened to me?....

Another Happy day...

My sis came home from the hospital today.. so i was like yay running out to greet her, but the baby is still there he will be out by Friday ,so i guess the end of the week not only holds the weekend but also a brand spanking new baby, i'll be scared to hold him though, he'll be so tiny and fragile...mmmm i'll probably watch him for a month or two and then hold him, i dont want to break him...lol.. i just like super excited. Can't wait. Anyways work was fine today the usual stuff the only thing that drove me insane was that our ISP "Greendot" ( i can call names its my blog and its true) totally F'ed up , so for the whole day we had no net access alot of work came to a stand still especially in my dep't so hopefully tomorrow it will be up again and i can get some serious work done. Then electricity went, which really didn't matter cause i wasn't doing anything anyway,it was silent luckily i had my phone with me so i could runs some tunes, the unlucky thing is that i recently deleted all my songs and only loaded SPICE GIRLS so yeah... i was playing wannabe while my co-workers looked on with a strange but amused expression, i couldn't care less, its the damn SPICE GIRLS...lol.. they know they like it...And one thing that i'm proud of is that i actually studied Math today..which is a big thing for me, and i have to thank my friend for encouraging me so hopefully this is the first step to many days and hours of playing with numbers and o what fun i will have ( i need to convince myself)

Happy Time ;)

Saturday Jan 5th my good friend and I met to exchange xmas gifts..yeah we late like that, in Chaguanas and we had pizza courtesy of her ... after i felt a bit guilty not paying for some of it but say what its Kisha and she doesn't make a fuss. But the funniest thing happened before she met me i was sitting on a Park bench in front of the mall waiting for her when this girl sat next to me then all of a sudden burst out crying i was like huh... WTF and i'm not saying like little sobs it was like head in my hands crying, suddenly i realized that everyone was looking at me, as if i was making this girl cry... umm i just stood up and went to the next bench and sat there, people kept staring at me until finally she got up and left i was like whew.. but then another girl came and sat next to me but luckily kisha came in time, with her best friend who saw me and opted to make an excuse not to have pizza with us, i felt bad for like a sec but then i was like more pizza for me... only to realize that we (kisha) bought slices so it was one slice per person..lol.. I gave her the Harry Potter 7 book and she gave me a kool T-shirt which i love, we had soo much fun, well i thought so, it was a long time since i saw her it was great, she did however say something that probably made me stand up and take notice and decided to change my life, that she was glad i was soo happy at xmas time because the past 11 months i was so down and depressed... i didn't know my friends saw me in that way, i'm usually a happy person so i decided to be my normal happy self this year and forget about all my problems whether they are real or in my head, so THANK YOU kish capish or KIKI. Above are some of the pics i took..... 1)Thats the pizza I ate, well the box at least..lol,
2) that kisha looking at i dunno, she didn't want me to take the pic in Mario's thought the flash would attract too much attention..lol.. it did, (3) thats her Happy with Harry, i mean who isn't happy with Harry, and (4) thats me and her, we took that pic in a parking spot that about 3 cars came by and drove away thinking we were holding it for someone, little did they know we were in our invismobile..like wonder woman..

I'm an Uncle

OMFG!!!! i'm an uncle my sis had her baby , a healthy baby boy...i'm soo excited..i can't believe me an uncle... i don't feel any different but i do feel like i need to be more responsible...nah... i just happy that i have a baby i could play with and hug and pinch up and kiss up ... however when the said baby makes a poo poo i'm out. Its a great night tonite wooohooooo!!!!!

Its a wonderful song

There is this song that totally freaks me out, but in a good way... its called "Love song" by Sara Bareilles.. the lyrics rock and the tune is nice and catchy but the line that probably caught my attention is the first one... here are the lyrics:

Head under water
And you tell me
To breathe easy for awhile
The breathing gets harder
Even I know that
Made room for me
It's too soon to see
If I'm happy in your hands
I'm unusually hard to hold on to

Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well but you make this hard on me

I'm not gonna write you a love song
Cause you ask for it
Cause you need one
You see, I'm not gonna write you a long song
Cause you tell me it's make or breakin' this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leavin'
I'm gonna need a better reason
To write you a love song
Today
Today..

I learnt the hard way
That they all say
Things you wanna hear
My heavy heart sinks deep down under
You and Your twisted words
Your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry

Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too
I'm trying to let you hear me as I am

I'm not gonna write you a love song
Cause you asked for it
Cause you need one
You see, I'm not gonna write you a love song
Cause you tell me it's make or breakin' this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leavin'
I'm gonna need a better reason
To write you a love song today

Promise me
You'll leave the light on
To help me see
The daylight my guide, gone
Cause I believe
There's a way
You can love me
Because I say

I won't write you a love song
Cause you ask for it
Cause you need one
You see, I'm not gonna write you a love song
Cause you tell me it's make or breakin' this
Is that why you wanted a love song?
Cause you asked for it
Cause you need one
You see I'm not gonna write you a love song
Cause you tell me it's make or breakin this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If your heart is nowhere in it
I don't want it for a minute
Babe, I walk the seven seas
When I believe that there's a reason to write you a love song
Today.
Today..

Its my new fav song till i hear something better... Well today is Monday the most hated day of the week, i personally hate it, not only is the weekend over but i also have Math lessons after work so its a long day... but just for the record it's not Monday's fault that the work week begins on his shift so I don't hate the day Monday but just probably the events of.... The Weekend was nice and quiet, the way i like it , My sis didn't make the baby yet the doc said today for sure, I'm just praying that she and the baby both come out of this healthy and well. Saturday i made soup for dinner since i couldn't seem to find anything i wanted to eat, mom made cascadoo and peas and i don't like the idea of eating a fish that lives most of his life in mud so i opted out of that, even though i was called stupid by my older sis for not eating it apparently alot of ppl find the meat of this fish the sweetest ever ... not i ... back to the soup..lol.. it was chicken and while stirring it the pot almost fell off the stove apparently i was stirring too hard..who knew.. but in the end i made too much for one person..luckily my lil sis volunteered to take some off my hands. Sunday was spent getting ready for the week of work , i was supposed to do Math but didn't get around to doing it i really hope that i can muster up the will power to study this. I should stop looking at it in a negative view and just get it over with. Work today has been rather quiet so i can take some time to write this but i have a feeling that this is the calm before the storm and soon i will have a ton of stuff to do.

Hmmmm

So this is a new year, i was thinking what this blog is about. Do i just write poetry here or do i write whats going on in my life? Do i make it a mixture of the both and just delete my other blog which is dedicated to the happenings in my life or do i choose to separate the 2? I thought long and hard( 5mins) about it and decided that this blog should be dedicated entirely to poetry and the occasional story, the happenings in my life will be kept separate since its loong and probably booring but if you are smart enough you will know what is going on in my life by the poetry i write. So here's hoping that i will be a better blogger this year as opposed to last year.

I'm Back

Surprise Surprise I'm back here writing about my boring life, its 2008 and this year i'm gonna try to do a post a day so that i wont forget whats happening in my life, xmas was quiet, new years was better but still quiet the reason being that my sis is in the Hospital so everyone worried and we are indeed a bit down till the baby comes maybe this weekend... o i didn't mention thats she's having a baby..lol.. but besides that life is well nothing to complain about except the about Math exams which i have this year I'm not prepared for it at all so i have to get my ass in order i i wanna pass. Well i got loads to write lots have happened i hope i can remember it all but if i don't who cares its not like anyone reads this blog anyway... main fact being it doesn't contain porn, free music or free videos...or does it..lol..Right now i'm in work the rain is falling so I'm happy a bit cold though i should turn down the ac ...

Skin Deep

If beauty is skin deep
Then take a razor and slash me
Let my inner beauty come forth
Let it pour onto the floor, seep into the earth

I walk alone in this world
Causing stares, whispers fill the room
Am i not beautiful enough for you?
My inner beauty is there for you to see
It soaks my shirt and drips from my fingers
AM i still not good enough for you?
This is all i have ....All to offer
All I can show.....My inner beauty

Gone Away

There was once a boy who grew tired of this world
Tired of the lies that people told
Tired of the hearts that people broke
Tired of the cigars that his father smoked
Tired of the drink that he held in his hand
Tired of the things that made a man a man

He was so tired that he hardly spoke
The few words that came to him made him choke
How could this life be so bare
Footsteps chasing material possessions everywhere
Where was the truth within the lies? Where was his truth? his alibi?
How could he have fallen so very low
Where was his guide? Where should he go?

The boy grew tired
So tired he couldn't sleep
So he sat on his bed and he just weeped
He cried...a thousand tears went by
He Cried till his eyes lay broken and dry
There once was a boy who grew tired of this world
So he left.....