Love

Love is the object of infinite ideas...movies, stories, songs, art, expression, movement, speech , i can go on and on , bottom line is Love has affected them all. This emotion is so grand that many crave it to be happy, many blame it for their unhappiness, and many hate it cause they presume they cant have it. To me love exists in everything, there are many types of love , many degrees of love but each of us as humans have experience love or given love in our lifetime. I'm no expert at love, i rather burn my lips with hot tea than claim to be one and dish out advice. But love fascinates me, it takes my breath away , shocks me into reality and sometimes leaves me in the fetal position. Why am i on this topic anyway? It cause last night i had a vivid , HD, full color, surround sound dream of my EX....it has me uneasy....nothing sexual, in the very least it was the opposite, just us talking and me being very very angry, i was so angry i wanted to literally kill my EX with my bare hands, but i didn't , i just sat there seething with anger, i awoke --angry--- when i did calm myself down, I was left with a feeling of guilt. How could at one point in my life, I loved my EX with all my heart and soul, i would do anything to please her, anything to be near her, anything to talk to her, I needed her in my life ...back then...now all i feel is hate towards her, genuine hate ... how did it move from one extreme to another? Sometimes i feel guilty, sometimes i feel dirty about hating her. But at the end of the day luckily I don't regret that we were together, cause she taught me more life lessons albeit the hard way in those 2 years that i would have ever learned on my own. I became a stronger, better thinking, caring individual because of her and for that i am thankful. I guess sometimes ghosts of the past do haunt you....