MIxed...

Some times i think that i have it all figured out...my whole entire purpose of being and then i wake up....it amazes me when I'm in a state of half sleep that the whole entire world is a nicer place, nothing is wrong ...everything is so peaceful, so safe...then the alarm goes off and all the problems just come rushing back ten speed...I've been neglecting my blog for sometime now, don't know why cause i have so many thoughts i want to put down...guess...its just they are not ready to come out yet, prefers to swirl around in my mind for a while longer, I've been told that I'm too quiet....I've also been told that silence is my strength....i guess it can flow both ways, i wanna look at it as strength, since sometimes it better to listen and then speak..which i always try to do, but it doesn't always happen that way....what the hell am i writing...i write gibberish ....uggh....the thoughts refuse to be put down on paper.... i just think that life is what you make it, how u see life doesn't necessarily depend on your out look but the outlook of the company you keep..since whether or not we want to admit it friends influence friends...so my new rule is to keep positive friends so they can help me win the battle against the darkness that tears at my soul on a daily basis...