Spellbound....

When i am stressed, or depressed i take the lights off, sit in darkness and stare at the nothing. Sometimes i would sing silently to myself, until i calm down...its the way i deal. yesterday was no exception, after a hard days work, i come home to some drama from my mama.Did not bode well with my aura, and before i knew it i was once again staring up from the pit that i usually sink myself into. Depression and anger, stress and hate....emotions that turn and twist within me like snakes coiled in the ceaseless dance of love, the only difference is at the end of it all, only venom is produced.Venom that i ingest within myself... I don't share my feelings with anyone, wait....i lied...there is one person on earth, that knows me...its astounding how much that person knows.....I don't know why i constantly battle the demons within me, struggling to be positive when its so easy to be engulfed into darkness, i wanna be in the light....one thing i can say that has changed, i no longer give in to hurting myself...feeling the physical, to cure the mental...I've resorted to sitting and staring....spellbound by the darkness outside while fighting the darkness inside.