Drip Drop....

10.04, i was supposed to be asleep since 8.30, but here i am once again unable to force my body into submission, instead the urge to write has taken over and i can't help but give in for if i don't get it all out, I'll be tossing and turning all night. I stood in the rain today...for what could have been an eternity standing there feeling the cold drops against my skin, cooling my fire ravished soul...i looked up at the heavens into the distant gray above me and wanted to scream, wishing that i could scream and just fly up there, into the clouds to be lost forever. But I'm earth bound so i just imagined being one with the rain, the sweet rain, the sky that cries my tears when i cannot. The feeling that came over me was unexplainable, i felt sadness, happiness, anger, hope, pain, freedom...everything just gushed over me like the water that was trickling over my skin....i then sat on the bare ground, i wanted to lie there and look up at the sky, but i just sat...head bowed like i was praying feeling the drops hitting harder...it was getting colder and the sky was darker..i felt like it was my fault, that i was to be blamed for all that happened, for all the good, all the bad, all the uncertainty in my life. My family, work, school, the thoughts just crowded in my head as if they were seeking shelter from the cold, then the thoughts was broken by a flash of lighting and the loud boom of thunder...my head was clear,the sound chased them away, and then i realized that the rain has a way of washing away my doubts, of rinsing my soul, i stood up and relished the feeling once again, the smell, the cold, the wet, the wind...i was happy just being able to experience it, i leaned up on the wall, so casual in the pouring rain...as if the rain wasn't even there...thats when my mom saw me and was like have i lost my mind, then my little bro spotted me and ran into the rain also, not cause it was the rain but because i was there, it was ok to be in the rain cause i was there....we played waterbenders....i had fun....my mind is settled now...time to rest.